Burrito monster in my stomach

Let me tell you: I love rice and beans, but they don’t love me, especially when they’re mizzed with hot sauce.

This week I took a little excursion to a place on the east side of Provo ironically called West Mountain Burrito (I don’t know whether it’s named after a mountain around here or what, but the mountains in Provo are definitely to the east if you ask me).

This place is spankin’. It’s located where the Awful Waffle used to be, but unlike the Awful Waffle, it actually has seating arrangements with a fancy covering to protect eaters from the sun, rain, hail, snow, thunder, lightning, rain mixed with hail, snow mixed with hail, thunder with lighting, thunder with rain, rain with lighting, and all other sorts of weather.

A special highlight of MWB is the artwork along the eatery area. I heard that some crazy cool rocker art dude did it, but I just googled it to find out for sure, and I didn’t get no info about it (what the h, Meredith?!!). I like it, though, because it reminds me of leaves reflecting off the surface of a pond onto the ceiling or wall of something next to the pond.

This place was a little bit fancy: the food here is locally grown and organic. When I’m eating out, I don’t really care too much about healthiness, butt I can roll with it when it tastes good.

On this trip, nobody accompanied me, but I wasn’t lonely or nothin’: I sat next a trash can and that was good enough for me.

Food here comes in three different sizes: mini, regular, and giant. Mini is probably as much as you should eat, regular is for those want to go the extra mile, and giant is for those people who really don’t know what’s good for them.

Even though it’s a burrito place, I ordered the regular Chicken Chimichanga.

The chimichanga was stuffed with brown rice, pinto beans, cheese, and (b-duh) chicken with a big ol’ scoop of pico de gallo on the side. For an extra dollar, I went deluxe and got sour cream, GUUUUUUACAMOOOOOOLE!, and salsa on the side because if I have the choice of living with or without avocado, I choose with. It’s just the kind of person I am. And I was given a complimentary side of hot sauce by the lovely cash register girl (service here was great, by the way).

If you’re a hot sauce lover, you’ll love this stuff: it’s literally the devil. Made from jalapenos that grow in the deserts of the sun, it tasted like someone sandpapered my tongue, poured acid on the inside of my cheeks, and punched a hole in the roof of my mouth with a rhino tusk. I wasn’t a huge fan of it, but crazy hot sauce lovers might be.

The rest of the chimichanga was pretty chill. It was just rice and beans wrapped in a deep-fried tortilla. The flavor was very simple. The seasonings were not overdone at all. I mean, it’s an organic chimichanga, so it’s not gonna be too cray-cray bursting with all sorts of crazy things or else it would explode whilst it was being deep fried and that would be gross. Even so, I wish I had ordered something else.

The guac, salsa, and sour cream were really good and qualit-tay. They were welcome additions: the guac and salsa added more flavour and the sour cream toned down the devil hot sauce.

I meant to take another shot halfway through eating to show you guys how “artistic” and foodsy I am, but I got in the zone while I was eating and I forgot to, so I just took an after shot.

So overall, I wouldn’t get the chimichanga or devil hot sauce again, but I would give Mountain West Burrito another chance.

On my way home a saw a restaurant called Craig’s Cuts. I think maybe it’s a rib place? I’ll have to go there next week.

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