Norwegia, Norway

When I first met Nils Andersen, I was living in Izhevsk, Russia, with Zhenya Kazakov. I asked Nils where he was from and he said, “Oslo,” and I said, “Where’s that?” Then he and Kazakov laughed at me for being a stupid American who didn’t know anything about geography and told me that OSLO is the capital of NORWAY. (P.S. I accidentally called it NORWEGIA half the time after that anyway, so jokes on them.)

Highlights from my mission aside, Oslo is the capital of NORWAY which is in EUROPE which is where I went in January. I decided to visit this beautiful country after seeing Internet pictures and watching “Frozen” a lot. Also, I think Nils is pretty cool and he invited me to visit.

So, after England, I snuck over to Oslo for a three-day visit. It was snowy, icey, and rainy, and my feet STILL hadn’t dried from England, but I loved it. The snow, ice, and rain made for some beauti-freakin-beautiful scenery and some GREAT pictures (my favorite pics from my trip are from England and Norway).

Plus, the language is no big because everyone here speaks English. So cool!!!

I honestly think Norway would be better to visit after March, but that’s only because  tours of the Royal Palace and boat tours of Oslofjord were closed and wouldn’t open until mid-March, so now I know.
BUTT I did see some pretty sick stuff and here’s what it was:

Oslo City Hall


I accidentally stumbled onto this building. The outside looks really soviet (gray and depressing), BUT there is a cool clock and wood carvings outside. Anyway, I went inside and my jaw DROPPED like the bass at your mama’s birthday. There’s a MASSIVE great hall (HP lingo because europe) and every wall is covered in murals. Also, each bathroom stall has its own sink. It was WAY fancy and nice and one of my top 3 buildings in Europe (don’t ask what the other two are).

Royal Palace


Norway still has a monarchy and just like England, I’m not sure what it does. Anyway, like I said, the palace was closed when I was visiting, so be sure to stop by and tell me about it if you’re here after March!
Vigeland Sculpture Park AKA Naked Park in Oslo

Pro tip about Norway: there are a lot of naked statues and murals everywhere. To the Norwegians, it’s not weird. So the fact that there’s a park full of nude statues of men and women doing weird things (like juggling babies) doesn’t really throw off anyone here. And asking why the statues are all naked doesn’t really get an answer. And apparently, this place is the #1 tourist attraction in Oslo. So don’t miss it. But be prepared. FOR NAKED.
Kulturkirken (pronounced “kultur-heer-kin”)

This building is so amaze-balls inside and out. Look at the intricate carvings on the outside door, then look at the ceiling inside and listen to the organ. Usually, I HATE the organ, but the whole building feels to special and great. And there’s an altar where you can write a prayer and the priests will pray for you. …… ….

Oslo Opera House

Again, another thing that’s cooler after winter. The opera house’s roof slants down so you can walk from the ground level to the top, BUTT in winter, it’s too icey. So. Also fancy bathrooms.

Eat the seafood

This guy’s selling shrimp out of his FISHING BOAT. I don’t even LIKE seafood, but even smelling it raw made me want to try this stuff because it’s so fresh! (I didn’t, cuz I forgot to eat half the time on this trip. I was TOO BUSY DOING THINGS.)

SKI!


Skiing was basically invented in Norway, SO I HAD to go skiing. Pro tip: spend the first two hours falling over, then spend the last hour actually having fun! That’s what I did! I rode the metro up to Frognerseteren and skied. I made lots of mistakes, but I have videos about how to do it WITHOUT making mistakes. And I should post those.

Explore Oslofjord and take sick pix!

PRO TIP: Oslofjord isn’t a real fjord. It doesn’t have hills on either side with water in between: it’s basically just a bay with no hills around it. But it’s still beauty-ful. Even though the tourist tours were closed, I jumped on a random ferry to a random peninsula in Oslofjord and took lots of pictures. It was a good time. But I did get hungry.

Go shopping at Underground


I lost my beanie on the bus from the Rygge Airport, so I got on google and found a close-by thrift store, hence I came toUnderground (UFF). It’s actually a vintage shop, which means they don’t take anything newer than 1980. There were sweet sweaters, reindeer bags, sealskin boots, and all sorts of other things that would make PETA mad. I bought a sweet hat and wanted to buy everything else.

Eat the weird crap Nils gives you.

Norway has a weird cuisine. Aside from the seafood smelling good, they also like to eat liver, jam on meatballs, lots of frozen pizza, and bacon in a tube. The pic above is “brown cheese” with jam on bread. It tasted like old-ish cheese with jam on it. The combo of cheese + jam made it a little creamy, but still weird. So take your taste buds on an adventure!

Find this random statue of Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Riiiiight?

Norway was a blast and a half! I want to give a big shout-out to Nils and his awesome wife Natali for letting me crash on their couch for three days and helping me find and do all the cool things to do in Oslo! And honestly, Nils is lucky to have scored a girl as sweet as Natali. It was so great to stay with you guys! Until next time!

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