Station Twenty-two (and Three Quarters)

You know a sandwich is good when it takes you a day and a half to stop thinking about it. This story is about one of those sandwiches. There’s a tale of boy who runs into a train station wall and is magically transported to a magical school. I don’t know a whole lot about […]

Sub Zero is okay

So I went to Sub Zero Ice Cream on Friday after the stupid BYU football game. I’d never been, but I’d heard lots of things about it. Mostly, I’d heard that it was real sciencey, so I was intrigued by that. Heads up, though: it’s way overpriced (like, $7 for a small bowl). But liquid […]

Bahston pizza

Once upon a time in a place called America, there was a city on the east coast where free-blooded Americans and awful British people or, as they were known in that day, Tommy Redcoats, lived together. The Tommy Redcoats lived terribly happy lives, but only because they spent all the times oppressing the free-blooded Americans. […]

Get rid of the stressmester

Doesn’t going to BYU suck sometimes? If you’re like me, you flew by in high school (and community college), but doing real college is a lot harder. What make it so hard?!! What’s the secret?Well the secret might be:1) Before the end of this month, you’ll probably have taken at least one  midterm, written two […]

Saucy pants

Okay people, so I thought I’d try the thing where I try to teach y’all how to make food again, but this time, I decided to do something that I legitly know how to cook. Tomato sauce is something that I eat sometimes. It can go on pasta, lasagna, or homemade pizza (but I’d use […]

In the Red Bluff

As many of you are possibly aware, American Christmas was this last week. As such, BYU decided to ruin er’body’s lives and schedule finals for the week right before Christmas. It’s like going to school in the atheist Soviet Union where they don’t care about Christmas or how cold it is or how many stray […]

Denny’s and free food what?!!

I’m totally not going to do a restaurant review of Denny’s. While it is good food, PFB is dedicated to restaurants unique to Provo (at least, restaurants that aren’t in California), so I’m totes not gonna talk about the food. As anyone in Provo/Orem knows, you see a crapton of out-of-staters with their missionary sons/daughters […]


Sometimes, people talk about how undiverse BYU is. And when they do that, I think they’re liberals. As per the request of frequent reader Cari Beut, I decided to go to Slab Pizza, located just beneath Campus Plaza Apartments and right beside the Duck Pond/Rape Hill in scenic south Provo. To me, it’s one of […]

That time I ate healthy for four months

So people, I decided back in June that I was going to do something cray-cray: I decided to stop eating processed foods and only eat things my ancestors would have been able to make themselves. This means produce, nuts, dried fruit (with no sugar added), beans, and meat were the ONLY foods allowed to enter […]

Guys, 5 Guys

I hope that the guys at Orem Food Blog won’t get mad at me, but I ate at Five Guys and wanted to tell you the people all about it. Besides, I figure that Orem and Provo are basically the same city (except Orem has Walmart, so it’s just a teeny bit classier). Five Guys […]

Magelby’s vs. Kneaders: French Toast Wars

I hate to get controversial, butt guys I had to answer the question all of Provo’s been asking for years: Which is better: Magleby’s or Kneaders French toast? Both Magleby’s and Kneaders are similar: bakeries, both in Provo, make delicious food, I’ve eaten there, my Mom’s never been there, I’ve had dates at both places, […]

I ran to Rancherito’s

I didn’t really. I just went there after floating down the Provo River with some friends (something that should be on everyone’s Provo bucket list, btw — butt don’t go until August because the water will be butt-freezing cold). After two hours of sitting hunched in a heavy-duty tube as your friends try to push […]